Cat Joke- Start off your day with a laugh!
A Cat Joke to make you smile!
How do cats end a fight? They hiss and make up.
What do baby cats wear? Diapurrs
Why is the cat so grouchy? Because he's in a bad mewd.
Why don't cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
Why did the cat run from the tree? Because it was afraid of the bark!
What is a cat's way of keeping law & order? Claw Enforcement.
What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? The purrpatrator.
What do cats like to eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies.
Where is one place that your cat can sit, but you can't? Your lap.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? A peeping tom.
Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? She had mittens.
If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on? Their paws.
What does a cat like to eat on a hot day? A mice cream cone.
Four men were bragging about how smart their cats are. The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, the fourth was a Government Worker. To show off, the Engineer called to his cat. "T-square, do your stuff." T-square pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good.
But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was good.
Then the three men turned to the Government Worker and said, "What can your cat do?" The Government Worker called to his cat and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff." Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, peed on the paper, sexually assaulted the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.
Ok, ok, not all Government Workers are bad. I worked in Government for years! But this joke was pretty funny.
Do you have a favorite funny cat joke not on this list? Share them in the comments below!
How do cats end a fight? They hiss and make up.
What do baby cats wear? Diapurrs
Why is the cat so grouchy? Because he's in a bad mewd.
Why don't cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
Why did the cat run from the tree? Because it was afraid of the bark!
What is a cat's way of keeping law & order? Claw Enforcement.
What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? The purrpatrator.
What do cats like to eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies.
Where is one place that your cat can sit, but you can't? Your lap.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? A peeping tom.
Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? She had mittens.
If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on? Their paws.
What does a cat like to eat on a hot day? A mice cream cone.
Four men were bragging about how smart their cats are. The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, the fourth was a Government Worker. To show off, the Engineer called to his cat. "T-square, do your stuff." T-square pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good.
But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was good.
Then the three men turned to the Government Worker and said, "What can your cat do?" The Government Worker called to his cat and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff." Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, peed on the paper, sexually assaulted the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.
Ok, ok, not all Government Workers are bad. I worked in Government for years! But this joke was pretty funny.
Do you have a favorite funny cat joke not on this list? Share them in the comments below!